Foos Wars
Episode IV
"... Vader continues rocking the ball in standard snake position. Taking his time in analyzing Ben's slow, calculated, almost mesmerizing defense... and... he.... calls... his 2nd... timeout." Jacen Solo, premier commentator for Galactic Foos Productions, continues, "A good timeout on a crucial point, down 4-3 here in game 5 to the seasoned Pro-Master Obi-Wan Kenobi." Jacen has been calling these matches for many seasons and the intense, competitive pressure that has built up over the past years between these players is indistinguishable in his renowned calls of these matches.
Ever since Obi-Wan's hard fought, however ultimately very decided victory over Darth Vader many seasons ago, this rematch has been on everyone's mind. The previous match too was a close battle until Vader's emotions got the best of him and made an ill calculated move on match point -- causing him not only the loss, but nearly career ending injuries. The entire foos community is now getting what they wanted and we are just one of Vader's deadly snake shots away from our second meatball match point in as many meetings.
"Welcome back to pit table 1 of our featured semi-final match in Championship Singles between Darth Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Jacen Solo here with Mace Towani and we are enjoying a match that has lived up to all the hype."
Towani follows, "Yes, this has been what we expected and the intensity of the match can be seen in the interactions between the players. As Vader called that last timeout, I sensed that Vader was staring directly at Ben thorough his trademark helmet for at least 5 seconds prior to calling the time out. Without lifting his hands from the rods he called his last timeout in his deep and unmistakable voice and continued his stare for another 5-10 seconds. Ben's response was that of..." and is interrupted by Jacen Solo who continues the commentary as the ball is put back into play by Vader.
"Vader touches 2 men, front pins that ball and holds if for exactly 1 second prior to beginning his rocking motion, officially putting the ball back into play. Vader's prior standard snake shot rocking is quickly replaced by his more well known 'dancing' as he swiftly moves the ball back-and-forth across the goal while still analyzing Ben's defense. Vader's 1-3/8 inch black inner tubes covering all four of his handles really work to give him plenty of grip with his traditional long black gloves."
"And as quickly as I can talk about his grip," Jacen Solo continues, "Vader goes long to the pull side, let's out a deep exhale and ties the match up 4-4 bringing us to meatball match point. It seems as if Vader may have some advantage with his grips, gloves and entire outfit from helmet to boots over Ben's traditional robe attire and use of the plain wood handles."
Towani adds, "Nonetheless, Ben's defense is probably one of the top 3 in the Galaxy, but there isn't much you can do against that type of speed and accuracy -- I think Vader is shooting close to 90% this weekend."
"Speaking of defense", continues Solo, "we are joined in the Galactic Foos booth by arguably the best defender in the galaxy, Yoda, who is just now coming off his semi finals loss to one of his students, Luke Skywalker. Yoda, glad you could join us for this meatball point between Obi-Wan Kenobi and one of your arch rivals Darth Vader."
"Be here, I am glad. Mmm hmm."
"I know you have marched through the DYP winner's bracket with your most unlikely of partners, Vader, and are awaiting the winner of the loser's bracket in the finals -- given your front line experience this weekend with Vader and your knowledge of Ben's game, who do you see taking this match point?"
"Vader vs. Young Skywalker destiny I sense."
At that very moment one could sense something in the air. Obi-Wan's demeanor seemed to get very relaxed, almost peaceful, as he prepared to serve the ball back into play. Jacen Solo picks up the commentary... "Kenobi serves the ball by spinning it in to his five rod and goes into his traditional slow tic-tac between his two near men."
Solo continues, "Kenobi is really taking his time and almost seems a little as if he isn't focused on the importance of this point. What is Kenobi doing?! He is standing straight up and has moved all his rods into the men-up position... Is he calling a timeout? No! The ball has rolled to Vader's five rod! Vader goes into a blindingly quick tic-tac between his outer 2 five men, immediately transitions the ball to his center 5 man and HAMMERS it hard down the middle into Kenobi's unprotected goal, winning the match and sending Kenobi into the oblivion of the loser's bracket."
"Mace Towani, that was the most unusual events I have ever seen in the sport of foosball. It was as if he has thrown the game and effectively setup a Vader vs. Skywalker match up in the winner's bracket finals. What an anticlimactic end to one of the most anticipated matches in history."
Towani continues, "Are we off air, is this edit time?"
Solo, "Yes, but keep it clean, there may be people listening on their $5 radios here in the ballroom."
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